A Snowboard carol
by MH-001
Summary: My next fic, this concerns Slash, his next homework project, and a really, REALLY yucky plate of Chili. ^_^ No flames, pleeze! :P


  
  
The snow looked great outside. Almost as if a big blanket had fallen on the earth.  
Ms. Voltinitzen moved her eyes from the window to the Grade 5 french class. Everything  
seemed to be in order. SEEMED. She looked at the students. Nancy, reading her textbook.  
Linda, writing in her binder. Slash, Jamming out to music on his headset. Everything   
appeared to be fi... Wait?  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Slash was relaxing and listening to his music, headbanging all the way. Suddenly,  
there was a sharp crack, and Slash's cry of pain, as he headbanged through a piece  
of wood. The class laughed at slash, as he had struck his head on Ms. Voltinitzen's  
Pointer.  
  
"OWWWWW!" slash yelled, as he clutched his head.  
  
"Finally something got through that head of yours." Revolting said. "Now pay  
attention in class!" Slash moaned. Suddenly, the dismissal bell rang.  
  
"Thank god, saved by the bell." Slash gathered up his books and ran out into the  
hallway before Ms. voltinitzen could bitch him out anymore than she already had.  
  
Out in the hall, Slash ran into Jam. "Hey. Wait a bit jam, i gotta get my stuff   
from my locker." Slash opened his locker, roughly threw his books in it, and closed  
it. "Okay, let's go." The duo walked outside to the Snowboard rack, and went over   
to their respective snowboards.  
  
Jam got his unlocked first, and walked over to slash. "Let's go."  
  
Slash raised an eyebrow. "Why so fast?"  
  
"Because Linda just spotted you, and she's still mad about the snocone incident."  
Jam replied as he took off on his snowboard. "Later!"  
  
"JAAAAAAM! You coward!" Slash yelled as Linda fast approached. He began to panic,   
fumbling the combination on the Snowboard Lock.  
  
"You're not getting away, Slash!!!" linda was running across the hockey rink,   
holding two bombs. Slash scooped up a snowball, and threw it as Linda. Linda was hit   
square in the face, and fell over. Her momentum kept her sliding across the ice, until  
she hit the school wall. The colission effectively set off the bombs she was holding,  
giving Slash time to get away. As Linda tried to get herself out of the rubble, Slash   
was already speeding down the street, trying to catch up to Jam.  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Jam had slowed down a few blocks ahead, to wait for Slash. Slash's figure soon  
appeared, turning the corner.  
  
"What, rats leaving the sinking ship never go back to the wreckage!" slash was irate.  
  
Jam chuckled to imself. "Aww, too bad. I'm glad i'm not you."  
  
"You can say that again. I can't belive i have to watch "A Christmas Carol" on TV for  
tonight of all the lousy nights!" Slash said as the two speeded along.  
  
"What's wrong with tonight?" Jam said, with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Mom's making her garlic, green pepper, and tofu chili for dinner tonight." Slash made  
a yucky face.  
  
"Ah, the meal of a thousand nightmares." Jam frowned.  
  
"I shudder to think what kind of weird dream i'll have..." Slash groaned. Slash waved   
goodbye to Jam as he turned into his drive way. Slash sped towards home.  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Slash turned off the TV, with heartburn rates at an all-time high. He had just finished  
watching the Movie "A Christmas Carol", and was staggering up the stairs to his room. His  
stomach gave out a loud POP!  
  
"Ughh, easy there." Slash rubbed his obtuse tummy. "You need to live as long as i do."  
He slowly crawled into bed, and was sleeping in no time.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Slash opened his eyes. He was sitting at a desk, surrounded by a pile of money. A man   
walked in.  
  
"Um, hello Mr. Scrooge, sir." He said. Slash look up.  
  
"What do you want?" Slash asked, with a mean tone in his voice.  
  
"I'd... i'd like to know if i can have the day off tomorrow, sir... It's Christmas day."  
He asked, almost acting afraid of Slash.  
  
"What? The day off? If you take the day off, then the less money we end up making! No,  
you can't have the day off." Slash closed the matter, and went back to his work. The man was  
silent for a little.  
  
He finally spoke up. "h,hey, how do you like that new operating system i put in your  
computer, sir?" he asked.  
  
Slash was quiet for a moment. "Bah, Dumb bugs." he said, and threw the monitor out the  
window. The man gasped. "You will get a NEGATIVE 5 dollar raise for that stupid piece of  
machenery." slash wickedly said.  
  
The man was speeechless. 'B-but sir! I worked for years on that program..." The man never  
finished. Slash had already shown him to the door and pushed him out.  
  
"Heh. That takes care of that." Slash thought to himself as he grabbed his coat, and   
left for home.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Slash was just about ot go to bed, in his bigass mansion, but heard some sound effects   
coming from his study. They sounded just like.... just like...  
  
"...Skateboard kids 2 Video game?" slash said aloud to himself. He ran up the creaking   
stairs to enter his study, and he saw a ghost floating in the middle of the room. The Ghost had  
several Video game controllers wrapped around his body like chains, and had a pale white   
colour to his skin. Slash drew closer.  
  
"Slashenezer Scrooge..." the Ghost boomed. "I Am your former partner..."  
  
Slash had a puzzled look on his face. "Jacob Jamly? But, you're dead!"  
  
"That's right, Slashenezer..." Jacob said erieely. "I was destroyed by Ms. Voltinitzen...  
but i am one of the ghosts that have risen out of the old Detention Pit to take revenge on  
people.... or in my case, to delever a dire message to you, Scrooge..."  
  
Slashenezer Gulped. "What?"  
  
Jacob his his face. "That if you'll continue on your present course, you'll end up like me."  
Jacob revealed his face, to show the face of an extremely ugly and scary monster.   
  
Slash blinked. "Cool!"  
  
Jacob returned his face to normal. "I thought you'd like that." He said with a smile.  
  
Slashenezer rubbed his hands togeather menacingly. "Linda's gonna freak!" Slash laughed   
a bit, and then pointed at Jacob. "What's all those cords wrapped around you?"  
  
"These ,Slashenezer, are the cables of the many Video Game Controllers i selfishly clung   
to in life." Jam picked up one. "Little by little, i built these binds, and i now must live with  
them throughout eternity." He poked Slash in the nose. "I have come here tonight to warn YOU,  
Slashenezer Scrooge."  
  
Slash blinked, with Jacob's finger still on his nose. "To be more generous with my toys?"  
Slash asked.  
  
Jacob held up a controller. "To not waste money on this brand of joystick. The fire   
button is sluggish." Slash made a mental note of that. "AND, to tell you that three ghosts  
are coming later tonight to visit you."  
  
Slash gulped. "Me?"  
  
Jacob pointed at the telephone. "I took the liberty of putting ghostbusters in the speed dial."  
With that, Jacob appeared in a puff of smoke. "Remember, Scrooge..... never give into evil...  
never buy the X-Box!" With that, all traces of jacob were gone. Slash, thinking nothing of it,  
crawled into his bed. He blew out the candle an was almost asleep, when...  
  
Wake up....  
  
Wake up....  
  
Wake up! Hey, 'r'you listening???  
  
Slash opened his eyes. He saw Linda, in a white robe, hovering over him. He let out a high  
picthed girly scream and then said. "Dear Lord, it IS the devil!" A frying pan materialized in   
Linda's hand, and she quickly thwacked Slash.  
  
"Quiet! I am the ghost of Christmas Past..." she said to Slash. "I have come to take you back  
to a time when life was fun, joyous, and wonderfully carefree." She grabbed onto Scroge, and the   
two floated through subspace until they appeared in a house.  
  
Slash looked at the family. "This must be some mistake... this is before i was born."  
  
Linda pointed at a little girl opening presents. "See how happy i was??? SEE???" Slash  
laughed a little. The two left the house, and floated into another family's living room.  
  
Slash pointed. "Cool! It's me when i was little!"  
  
"Yes, Slashenezer. You were but a lad of four on this christmas." Linda wisely stated.  
  
"Hey, i remember that snowboard! That was my first snowboard!" Slash brightened up. "I  
wonder what happend to it?"  
  
Linda pointed elsewhere. "You blew it up with your first chemestry set."  
  
Slash looked at the explosions in the family living room. "Come to thing of it, that WAS   
the pleasure." Linda took slash back to his house.   
  
"You still have two more ghosts to see.... but before i leave, i have three words for you,  
Scrooge!" Linda said omniscously.  
  
"What?" Slash wondered. Linda handed him a bomb.  
  
"NOW we're even." Linda disappeared, laughing. Slash's eyes grew wide, as the bomb exploded   
in his face.  
  
"I swear, i knew it was wrong as soon as i threw that snowball..." slash whiped the soot off his  
face, and awaited the arrival of the second ghost. After a little while, the bedroom door opened, and   
a big christmas gift floated in. It hovered over The bed, at eye level with Slash, and the top   
opened to reveal Damien.  
  
"Slashenezer scrooge..." Damien said ghostingly.  
  
"Are you the second spirit visitor Jacob told me about?" slash asked.  
  
"Yes. I am the ghost of Christmas Presents." Damien told slash, wearing the lid of the box   
like a hat.  
  
"Um, i think it's supposed to be "Present" as in "Present day", Damien." Slash pointed out.  
Damien pulled out a hand held book, and looked through it.  
  
"Damn, i have GOT to stop skimming these cliff notes." Damien said as he floated away.  
  
Slash pointed out the door. "There's a bathroom down the hall. You can change there." Damien left,  
and returned after a few minutes. Damien floated in, wearing a white bath robe, a wreath on his head,  
and he was carrying a lighter.  
  
"Ok, Slashenezer, i'm back." damien stated, floating over the bed.  
  
"You still don't look like the ghost of christmas present." Slash pointed out.  
  
"Iv'e got the coat, the torch, the holly... what's missing?" Damien asked, confusingly.  
  
"You're supposed to have a mountain of food at your feet." slash replied. "You know, geese,   
turkey, great joints of meat, sausage, poultry, cakes, pies, apples, oranges, pears, game, barrels of oysters,  
suckling pigs, chestnuts, peanuts..." Slash Stopped as Damien let out a burp. "Don't... tell me..."  
  
Damien shruged. "I had a light lunch." Damien then picked up Slash, and carried him into the living  
room of another family. There was a blurry figure in a chair, but as they got closer Slash could make him out.  
It was tommy, wearing overalls and munching on some chips.  
  
"Who's he?" Slash pointed at Tommy.  
  
"This, scrooge, is tiny Tom." Damien said to slash.  
  
"He's... not exactly tiny, you know." Slash pointed out, looking at Damien.  
  
"He has a crippling weakness for potato chips..." Damien remarked. Just then, Tommy pulled a chip   
from the bag. He stared at it for a while.  
  
"God bless them, every one!" Tommy happily stated, and then munched the Potato chip.  
  
"Talk about decreasing the snack food population..." slash said. Damien looked over his shoulder as  
they flew away.   
  
"I think i see a vacant case of Ruffles in the corner..." Damien said discustingly. tHe two flew   
back into Slash's room, and damien deposited slash into his bed. "You still have one more ghost to go!  
Heed Jacob and Linda's warnings, for i have none for you!" Damien dissolved into the air.  
  
Slash stared at the place damien had occupied. "Lazy bastard." Sudddenly, a portal opened up.  
It was pitch black, it almost radiated darkness. "Cool, a gate to hell!" A figure floated out of the   
portal, and the portal closed. The figure was wearing a black robe. all you could see of the person in it  
was the feet. The feet had black hi-heels on them. "I'm guessing you're the Ghost of Christmas yet to Come?"  
Slash guessed. The figure just floated over slash. "AHH! Why won't you speak! Why do you stare at me   
in cold, stony silence???" slash screamed, terrified. THe ghost coughed, and floated into the kitchen.  
Slash got up and followed, and saw the ghost making itself some tea. "Wow. who knew ghosts got laryngitis?"  
Slash remarked.  
  
The ghost finished it's tea, and picked Slash up. The two sped away into subspace, arriving in a   
computer room. There, a old woman was looking through Slash's computer stuff.  
  
"Hey, get away from there! That stuff cost me an arm and a leg!!!" slash yelled. The woman continued  
to look through it. She was wearing a tort t-shirt, and torn jeans. She was wearing gloves with holes in them,  
and had many scratches and bruises. The gloves were covered with hearts, and the shirt had the words   
"Snowboards rock!" it was Nancy.  
  
Nancy rummaged through the stuff. "Viddeo card, obselete. Hard drive, obselete. CD-rom, CPU, Modem,   
obselete." Nancy threw all the stuff into a pile. "I wonder if those curtains are worth anything..."  
  
Slash moaned. "Dickens wasn't kidding. This future stuff IS painful." The ghost took him to a school, next.  
As they touched down, slash looked in the window of the school. "What's this? A graduation?" Indeed, it was.  
It was slash's high school graduation. Inside, it had all the kids, dancing away. They all looked so different!  
  
"Hey, there's jam!" slash pointed out. He was very different, he looked more mature. He looked at  
Tommy, wow, what a change. all that fat had matured into a lot of muscle, making him gigantic. He looked at  
Linda, and started to laugh. "Lookit this, Ghost! no change! EHEH" slash finally stopped laughing, and   
looked at nancy. His jaw dropped. Nancy was HOT. The ghost grabbed slash, and pulled him from the window.  
  
He started to protest. "Hey, hey! I waaaaaanna stare!!!" But the Ghost was not pulling slash away to make   
him stop staring. He pulled him around and up to the school's 2nd floor. The two floated down the hallway.  
The ghost stopped in front of a room, and poened the door with a wave of it's hand. slash floated in.  
  
"Hey, it's the Detention room!" slash easily recgonized it. But, on the desks were written the names and dates  
of all that have died while in detention. slash looked at a certain desk. 'Jacob jamly' slash wondered.  
  
"all the people that have risen out of the old detention pit..." He mumbled to himself. But, The ghost   
was pointing at one desk. Slash floated over to it. It said 'Death: May 20th' Slash looked at the ghost. "who's  
unlucky grave is this?" THe ghost pulled back it's hood to reveal...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
(suspense is always good.) ^_^  
  
...Ms. voltinitzen! She pushed Slash out the open window. Slash dangled by his pinkies, on the window sill, trying  
to pull himself up.  
  
"It's YOURS, Slashenezer! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Ms. Voltinitzen laughed, as she held the desk in front of slash's face.  
  
"Noooooo!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! NoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo!!!!!!! This can't be my fate! Say it can be altered!!!"  
Slash was screaming through tears. "May 20th is the day before "Skateboard Kids 3" is released!!!!" Ms. voltinitzen   
laughed, and hit his pinkies with the desk, causing slash to fall to the ground. "ACKKKKK!!!!!" slash fell....  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
...and hit his bed. Slash opened his eyes, and noticed he was in bed. "Yes! They gave me another chance!" He  
got up, went ot the window, and opened it. He saw A school girl walking down the street.  
  
"Hey, you there! The one with the big glasses! What day is it today, my dear?" Slash yelled down to the girl.  
  
"Today? Why it's a school day, Mr. Scrooge, sir!" The girl said, and walked off.  
  
Slash moaned. "A school day. A SCHOOL day. The spirits have worked their magic to return me not to christmas  
day, but a school day. Maybe they didn't give me a second chance after all." Slash grumbled to himself.  
  
"Did you hear me?" The girl said again. "I SAID IT'S A SCHOOL DAY, SLASH!!!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
Slash's mother was holding slash by his ankles, above the bed. "I SAID IT'S A SCHOOL DAY, SLASH! WAKE UP!"  
Slash opened his eyes.  
  
"I'm up! I'm up!" he said, frantically waving his arms around. His mom dropped him onto his bed.  
  
"Get dressed. you're late, slash!" She left the room. Slash went over to his closet.  
  
"I shouldv'e died from the fall out the detention room window." Slash said, not wanting to go to school.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
Slash walked into class, late. Ms. Voltinitzen was handing out sheets.  
  
"You're late, young man." She put a sheet on slash's desk. "Here is your work. It's a test." Slash groaned   
and sat down. He looked at the sheet. It wasn't a test. On it, was written 'Slash. Died: MAY 20th' Slash screamed.  
Ms. voltinitzen quietly chuckled to herself, and continued to pass out the sheets. 


End file.
